YOU DON’T OWE YOUR PARENTS ANYTHING
IT WAS THEIR CHOICE TO HAVE, KEEP AND RAISE YOU BUT IT WASN’T YOUR CHOICE TO BE THEIR CHILD
ANY EXPECTATIONS OR IDEALS THEY TRY AND ENFORCE ON YOU ARE BULLSHIT IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THEM
THEY SHOULD ACCEPT THEIR CHILD AS THEY ARE NOT JUDGE THEM ON A MINOR DETAIL THAT DOESN’T AFFECT THEIR LIFE
DO NOT FEEL BAD IF YOU AREN’T THE PERFECT CHILD YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU SHOULD BE
Someone should’ve told me this years ago, before my breakdown happened, before my inability to do anything true to my beliefs happened, before I kept telling myself that I was never good enough and that I should die. Someone should’ve reassured me that I wasn’t a bad person for thinking differently than my parents.
My parents shouldn’t have been that hard on me, comparing me to other people’s kids, comparing my actions to others’ actions.
I don’t think they fully approve of my wanting to become a fully-fledged writer and my dedicating a lot of time to writing, character and world creation, as well as reading. Because it’s not making me money and it’s not giving me the requisite job experience “everyone else has”.
Well, it’s not my problem every employer has issues with me living 25 km from my hometown (because moving to a different city - in my case moving back - is apparently not doable these days). But I digress.
I feel like I owe my parents everything, even now, especially now at 25, which is downright pathetic. Can’t help thinking I’m letting them down on every step and that my choice of career will make them unhappy.
It’s supposed to make ME happy but, as I’ve said “someone should’ve told me this years ago”.
Some of us might owe them gratitude. Some of us might owe them respect. But they owe us the freedom to be separate people from them. Parents like to believe that they’re in a union with us, and maybe in some ways they are (like spiritually or loyally), but we are not one person with two or more bodies. We are physically and mentally separate beings and our happiness is worth any decision we make that they might disagree with.
If our parents truly want our happiness, then let’s focus on owing them that. Let’s make ourselves the happiest we can be and show them when we get there, or every time we get there. I can’t imagine what else a loving parent could ever need to see.